


the one where castiel is a unicorn

by sharkfish



Series: the one where castiel is a unicorn [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Castiel/Dean Winchester Drabble(s), M/M, Unicorns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-11
Updated: 2015-12-11
Packaged: 2018-05-06 03:51:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5402021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharkfish/pseuds/sharkfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“I’m a unicorn,” Castiel said, “and my horn has been stolen.” </i>
</p><p><i>Dean raised his eyebrows. “I’m sorry, what? You’re a </i>unicorn<i>?"</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	the one where castiel is a unicorn

It was a Thursday, and Dean never quite got the hang of Thursdays. 

A quiet knock on his office door, and Dean groaned before he got up to answer it. Charlie sent the most annoying clients right to his door just to piss him off, and today had been no exception -- soccer moms and suited businessmen wailing about ghosts in their attic, about the suspected wraith that is sucking all their neighbors dry, the mother-in-law from hell that must have been replaced by a shapeshifter. 

The man at the door was completely unexpected. Handsome, in an ethereal sort of way, all elegant movements and dark hair, eyes bright blue and fingernails black like polished hooves. Dean’s supernatural Spidey sense tingled even before he saw the shine of luminescence on the man’s skin, under his ear and swooping down his neck to disappear under his t-shirt. Some kind of fairy, maybe.

“Dean Winchester,” Dean said, holding out his hand. 

The man took it and shook firmly. “Castiel.” 

“Take a seat, Castiel,” Dean said, gesturing to the two lumpy chairs in front of his desk. 

Castiel looked at the chairs but didn’t sit, just kept twisting his hands together. 

“What can I do for you?” Dean said, sitting back behind his desk and closing his computer. 

“I’m a unicorn,” Castiel said, “and my horn has been stolen.” 

Dean raised his eyebrows. “I’m sorry, what? You’re a _unicorn_?” 

“Yes,” Castiel said, his brows pinching together. 

“And your horn’s been taken.” 

“Yes.”

“Isn’t it supposed to be on your head? Excuse my stupid questions, I just…” 

“We’re very rare,” Castiel said. “I’m the last one in North America.” 

“Oh,” Dean said, “I’m sorry to hear that, dude.” 

Castiel pushed his hair off his forehead and Dean saw an angry red scar, circular and about the size of a half-dollar. Dean whistled through his front teeth. 

“Do you know who did it?” 

“Yes. His name is Fergus Crowley, and he works for the devil.” 

“Of course. The devil.” Dean had worked his share of demon cases, but sometimes things got a little weird even for him. This was definitely one of them. 

“Crowley is on a mission to collect the magical powers of a variety of creatures,” Castiel said. 

“Right,” Dean said, “like that guy in Heroes.” 

“I don’t understand that reference.” 

Dean laughed and leaned back in his chair. “What else do you know about this guy? Any idea where I can find him?” 

“I would go myself, but without my horn, my power is gone. I can’t even glamour.” 

“Ah, yes, your, uh --” Dean gestured to his neck, the same place Castiel shined like white glitter “-- isn’t very inconspicuous.” 

Castiel finally sat. “I’ll tell you what I know,” he said. “If you can return it, I’ll owe you a debt.” 

Dean perked up. Debts from magical beasts were rarely a bad idea. “Can you whip me up a million bucks or the woman of my dreams?” 

Exasperated, cursing in a language Dean doesn’t know: “Of course not. We can’t just make things appear out of thin air. Unless you’d like me to rob a bank or enchant a woman to find you charming.” 

“Hey, I _am_ charming.”

“Hardly.” But Castiel was holding back a smile. 

“All right, Castiel. Tell me about this scumbag.” 

 

Dean found Crowley in a rather shitty apartment for someone who made a deal with the devil. With Crowley safely in handcuffs and a devil’s trap in his office, Dean called Castiel. 

“I’ve got him,” Dean said. “He had the horn thing on him.” 

“Don’t call my horn ‘the horn thing.’ I’m coming.” 

Castiel arrived so quickly Dean thought he must’ve apparated, except he was out of breath and trembling a little. Dean immediately tossed him the horn he’d found in a sheath at Crowley’s hip. Castiel caught it easily and spent a long time inspecting it, rubbing the roughened edge where it was sawed from his head with a sad smile. 

Before Dean could react, Castiel swung the horn at Crowley, catching him in the heart with the sword-sharp tip. Crowley’s face changed to anguish and then, like an episode of Buffy, he turned to ash and disappeared. 

Dean gaped. For a long time. When he finally found his voice, he said, “That was fucking cool.” 

Castiel grinned. “I don’t get to do that very often.” 

“About that debt,” Dean said, and Castiel sobered. “Do you have any cash on you?” 

Confused: “A little, but --”

“For my wish. The debt. What do I have to say? Can I just say that I request five dollars and that’ll seal the deal?” 

“Five dollars?” 

“Yes. You owe me. That’s what I want.”

“I -- “ Castiel pulled out his wallet and dug around with still-shaking fingers. “I have a ten?” 

“I’ll take ten dollars then,” Dean said. 

Castiel handed Dean the bill, and Dean pocketed it with a grin. “Our debt is done, then? No more IOUs?” 

“If that’s what you want. Yes. The debt is done.” 

“Good,” Dean said, “cuz I want to ask you something and I want you to be able to say ‘no.’” He moved around his desk, closer to Castiel. Castiel’s hand was white-knuckled around his horn. “Can I kiss you?” 

Castiel laughed, startled. “Yes, okay.” 

He glowed brighter with Dean’s hands on him.

**Author's Note:**

> [reallyelegantsharkfish](http://reallyelegantsharkfish.tumblr.com) on tumblr


End file.
